His Writing Is The Cure

“Tim, thank you very much.  When you rattled off that list of credits, you left out my cure for polio, but I’ll excuse you for that.  You got all those other things in there.”

Dan Jenkins response to Tim Finchem’s introduction and announcement that he would be only the fifth golf writer in history to be inducted into the Golf Hall of Fame.

Jenkins then concluded with:

“Thanks to all those people that called in with having nothing better to do.  I can’t wait until May 7th when you put some (indiscernible) on my shoulder and give me a saber.”

(Click here to read Bill Fields Golf Digest article “Honoring a Prose Pro”)

December, 2011

TaylorMade Introduces Rocketballz…….Seriously!!

The golf world is a twitter with the buzz created by the TaylorMade’s introduction of their new line of metal woods, hybrids, and irons for Spring 2012 called “Rocketballz”. They claim these clubs are engineered to provide “the first significant innovation in relation to COR (coefficient of restitution) ball speed since the introduction of steel construction to fairway club in the 1980’s”. Apparently, according to the pros who have demoed these puppies, the ball rockets off the club face like an X-15 in heat. So they get their name.

The double, triple, and quadruple entendres are already percolating across the golf media in relation to the introduction of this name. It took some real kishkas for the TaylorMade higher ups to “support” this moniker for their new line of clubs. But it is clear to me it did not take sophisticated focus groups to know who they are selling these things to……men….big, burly men who have no shame about flaunting their wares.

Taylor Made Rocketballz Driver

Men will not only embrace this name but they will brag on it. When a guy cranks one out there about 270 and one of his admiring buddies pipes in “Wow Joe, what you got there?”, he will proudly bellow without hesitation “Rocketballz”. It will be in the mind of the beholder to determine what piece of equipment he is referring to.

The marketing of this line has endless possibilities. I personally think John Cleese should spearhead this campaign in a dark coat and an oversized fedora playing the role of the “TaylorMade mohel” consecrating these new implements. The rumor has not been confirmed but I believe that these can be bought with circumcised or uncircumcised head covers.

Mark my words, there will be billboards this spring with Dustin Johnson proudly brandishing the “RBZ” belt buckle with his stock white pants and royal blue Adidas shirt …..probably with a sultry Natalie Gulbis hanging on his arm.

The TaylorMade guys are no dummies-sexual imagery sells. I see cross marketing possibilities-commercials with a couple of 17 degree hybrids sheepishly sticking out of the Cialis bath tubs basking in the setting sun.

December, 2011

Aussie Days At Night

If you did not get enough of the Australian Sandbelt from the President’s Cup then your golf fix for this week is some late night quality time with the remote viewing of Golf Channel’s broadcast of the JBWere Australian Masters beginning at 8:30 EST Wednesday.  The third leg of the potential Greg Chalmer’s Slam is taking place at the Victoria Golf Club where he will be trying to add to his startling wins in the Australian Open and Australian PGA the past few months.

Victoria's Spectacular Par 3 14th at 156 yards (www.geoffshackerford.com)

The field includes the world number one, Luke Donald along with your household collection of Australian pros like Geoff Ogilvy, Robert Allenby, John Senden, Rod Pampling, and James Nitties.  The quality of play should be high as these guys have shown they know how to negotiate the rugged playing conditions and warp speed greens presented by these links style courses.

Geoff Shackelford reveals in a wonderful Viewmaster review of this third gem of the Australian Sandbelt courses that Victoria Golf Club has many of the same characteristics as  her more famous sisters at Royal Melbourne or Kingston Heath.  Mike Clayton, who has done renovations on many of the Australia’s finest layouts, has brought this one back to life removing trees and restoring the sandy areas that give these courses their distinctive charm.  Shackelford describes in great detail a course with “green complexes that offer a mix of extreme and subdued surfaces, with the par 3’s standing out as some of the most intriguing on the course”.

Imaginative Short Par 4 15th at 315 yards (www.geoffshackelford.com)

There could be some lingering verbal mud wrestling between Geoff Ogilvy and Robert Allenby resulting from their Spat Down Under after the Presidents Cup and be prepared to strain to understand the always entertaining golf terminology of the Aussie golf commentators.  This should be four nights of splendid golf from down under.

(Click here to read Geoff Shackelford’s review of Victoria Golf Club)

Geoff Shackelford

http://www.GeoffShackelford.com

December, 2011

December Golf

December always holds some mild-enough days. Sunshine glints like a thin shell of ice on the upper side of the bare gray twigs, the sky is striped like blue bacon, a tardy line of Canadian geese wobbles its way south, and the air is delighted to be providing oxygen to some plucky sportsmen.

The foursome, thinned perhaps to a mere threesome or twosome, meets by the boarded-up clubhouse, exhilarated to have an entire golf course to itself. There are no tee markers, no starting times, no scorecards, no gasoline carts — just golf-mad men, wearing wool hats and two sweaters each, moving on their feet. The season’s handicap computer has been disconnected, so the sole spur to good play is rudimentary human competition — a simple best-ball nassau or 50-cent game of skins, its running tally carried in the head of the accountant or retired banker in the group. You seem to be, in December golf, reinventing the game, in some rough realm predating its modern refinements.

The ball even smartly struck, has a deadish sound…..The balls themselves are apt to be those at the bottom of the golf bag pocket, the scarred and dirty orphans of the season……  Excuses abound, in short, for not playing very well, and the well-struck shot has a heightened lustre as it climbs through the heavy air and loses itself in the dazzle of the low hibernal sun.  Winter rules legitimize generous relocations on the fairway, and with the grass all dead and matted who can say where the fairway ends.

A lovely leniency, that is, prevails in December golf, as a reward for our being out there at all……There is a misty woodsmoke feeling to the round, the savor of last things.

…….. By then the nassau has been decided, and dusk has crept out of the woods into the fairways…..Ice has found its way into your golf shoes; the fingers on your right hand have no feel; your face hurts.  Time to pack it in…..

The last swing feels effortless, and the ball vanishes dead ahead, gray lost in gray, right where the 18th flag would be. The secret of golf has been found at last, after eight months of futilely chasing it. Now, the trick is to hold it in mind, all the indoor months ahead, without its melting away.

John Updike

December Golf

Golf Dreams-Writings On Golf

Choosing The Right Stick

In this two-part post on Secret In The Dirt.com, Timothy Goynes describes the proper way to choose the right stick off the tee and into the green.  Most people’s response to this would be, “Well this is not rocket science is it?”.

They would be right.  But it is astonishing how many players fail to consider honestly a tactical plan for choosing the right stick in these situations.  This is not dependent on caliber or talent-all player’s scores benefit from having a good intention for every shot they hit.  The mantra he wants all players to consider every time they choose the proper club is “Safe Line, Aggressive Swing”.

(Timothy Goynes-SecretInTheDirt.com)

As Tim Goynes describes in Part 1-Choosing The Right Stick-Off The Tee, most people will viscerally grab their driver on almost every driving hole without taking into consideration where is the trouble and where they want their drive to end up.  Being honest with yourself, something most golfers are not very good at, is essential in deciding whether to go over, play short, or play away from the trouble on any given drive.

Much of what you will read in this part seems elemental but, after being schooled in macho driving tactics by the weekend golf broadcast, smart people often lose their minds and continue to drive the ball with reckless abandon.  The result is they have no chance to put the next shot on the green and have a reasonable chance to make a par or better.

(Click here to read Choosing The Right Stick-Off The Tee)

In Part 2-Choosing The Right Stick-Into The Green, Goynes emphasizes what we should already know-golf is a game of specific targeting.   Considering all the parameters of where you are targeting is essential to hitting greens and giving yourself chances to make a good score.

(Timothy Goynes-SecretInTheDirt.com)

As he says in this part, it is not only knowing distances to the center of the green that matters, you need to know the distance to cover the front of the green, fly any trouble between you and the flag, and not to go too long as to bring in problems behind the green.  It is not distance to the flag you must determine but distance to where you want the ball to land to give you an aggressive putt at the hole.

Further he points out that is not only how far you have to go that will determine the proper club choice but it is the lie you are hitting it from, the topography of that lie, and any outside factors like wind, temperature, firmness of the turf, and precipitation as well.

Figuring how those factors will affect your shot based on your golf aptitudes is essential to consistently putting the ball where you want it to make good scores.

(Click here to read Choosing The Right Stick-Into The Green)

None of this is rocket science, but considering the intelligence level of most of the guys who play this game, it is amazing how smart people consistently fail to consider what is in their best interest in choosing the right stick on any given shot.

Timothy Goynes

Secret In The Dirt.Com

December, 2011

Diplomatic Impunity

U.S. Open Trophy (USGAMuseum.com)

Apparently the Chinese Government will go to no end to garner bargaining chips for their diplomatic conversations with the U.S. government.  It is not enough that we already send them the farm every month to settle our balance of trade deficit.  Now they are in to purloining our national treasures as well.

As you can read in an article done by Bernie McGuire for Golf, By Tour Miss, it seems that Rory McIlroy sent the U.S. Open Trophy that has been in his protective custody since June to Shanghai so it could be displayed at a number of the European Tour events as the Race To Dubai goes into it’s final laps.  Apparently there was no one on the other end to sign for the package when it arrived so the Chinese officials impounded it.

In spite of several diplomatic overtures, they have refused to release the trophy.  So we sent in our real junkyard dogs to negotiate, the USGA, who have apparently made little impression on their Chinese counterparts.  Rumor has it the Chinese are demanding a guaranteed 6% return on all long term treasuries they purchase and a relaxation of the Coefficient of Restitution regulations on drivers sold in China in 2012.  Guess the Maoists want to take it deep.

Lesson in this, don’t trust the welfare of your cherished heirlooms to foreigners.

(Click here to read McGuire’s account of Rory’s mishandling of our American treasure)

Bernie McGuire

December, 2011

Spat Down Under

As Randall Mell reports in this Golf Channel article a spat has broken out between Robert Allenby and Geoff Ogilvy over Allenby’s perceived notion that his poor performance in the Presidents Cup a few weeks ago was apparently the fault of his partners.

He virtually threw Geoff Ogilvy (as well as Retief Goosen and Y.E. Yang) under the proverbial bus complaining that at least three times Ogilvy put him in the woods off the tee in the Saturday Foursomes.  Sounds like sour grapes to me….coming from a guy who has a history of ungracious behavior when things don’t go his way on the golf course.

Fellow Australian Pro Golfer Paul Gow, who played for many years next to Allenby on the PGA Tour said in reaction to Allenby’s latest comments, “I have said it before… I think he acts like a five-year-old when he plays golf. He has to understand he plays golf for a living. He was in a team environment and to throw out those comments was really immature.”

The two almost came to fisticuffs on Sunday night at the Australian PGA when Allenby, who had just tanked in a playoff with Greg Chalmers for the title, confronted Ogilvy at his table at the post event celebration.  Apparently he actually challenged Ogilvy to step outside to the parking lot settle it.  Sounds to me like the man has a monopoly on sour grapes.

From what I have seen of Allenby the last few years it is his putter he should be throwing under the bus, along with any number of iterations of his putting stroke, since that has let him down way more than his teammates from these biennial events.

(Click here to read Randall Mell’s Article about the Allenby-Ogilvy Spat)

Randall Mell

November, 2011

Torrey Pines South Course

There is something extra special about a public golf facility that has held a major championship. It is the almost counter intuitive combination of a quality golf facility and the lack of the pomp and circumstance of an exclusive private country club.  Seeing a driving range full of regular Joes and pull carts being tugged around the fairways remind you that golf is a game of all the people not just the privileged ones.  At a place like this you see that money invested wisely can pull off first rate venue that can be enjoyed by anyone who is up for the challenge without asking them to sacrifice the monthly mortgage payment.

Torrey Pines has 36 wonderful holes originally designed by William Bell but it is the South Course 18 that was renovated by Rees Jones in 2001 that brought this up to a standard to allow it to play host to the memorable 2008 U.S. Open duel between Tiger and Rocco.

Click on any photo for an enhanced view of the image

The changes Jones made to the course are mostly in the fairway and greenside bunkering and the refinement of the green complexes.  This is not a course with signature holes you cannot forget.  But because we see it on TV as the host to what is now the Farmers Insurance Open, there are images seared in our mind of stunning  seaside vistas and colorful hang gliding parachutes over the rocky cliffs of La Jolla.

Number One the backdrop is superb

The course meanders back and forth atop those rocky cliffs on the coast of Southern California and is dominated by a large rock and scrub canyon in the middle of the property.  The canyon is not in play that often but it’s presence, much like the every present seaside breeze, influences your judgment every time you see it.  The course is lush so there is not much roll out and the prevailing wind makes any hole with the ocean on your left play considerably longer than the number on the scorecard.

Number Two-Green complexes dictate the strategy at Torrey Pines

Most of the holes run quasi-parallel to the cliffs so the directional influence of the wind on most holes is clearly discernible.  It is the intensity of the wind on any given shot that is the enigma.  There will be many times where the final resting place of your approach a club long or a club short will have you scratching your head in bewilderment.

Postcard photo opportunity on signature Number Three

Jones flanked most of the driving areas with bunkers on both sides which suggest a preferred shape to your tee ball to get to the most advantageous position for your attack at the greens.  The new green complexes give this course it’s strategic character.  Most have  flanking bunkers to negotiate, but there is generally an opening in front with the green raised slightly from the fairway, so bouncing it in is rarely an option.

Harry Potter Fortress Green Setting On Number Thirteen

For me this is a walkers course, if you don’t want to lug your carry bag then take them up on the pull cart option.  There are a few cardiac walks from green to the next tee but for the most part the holes have fairly gentle ramping and the scenic views are much better appreciated during a walk in the center of the fairway then from a hurtling cart cascading up the path.

Hang Gliders buzz the shoreline along Number Twelve

I would be remiss if I did not emphasize how unique and cool the hang gliding is to this golf course.  When you get to the seaside holes you may be standing over an approach shot and on your second and final look up at the target your are startled by the sudden appearance of two rugby stripe parachutes jettisoned from nowhere into your visual screen from behind the green.  The coolest part, when you get closer to the cliffs, is to realize that these folks are like the dogs running on the beach, they are having the time of their lives just hovering like marionettes over the beach tugging their lines to find the next wind gust to take them up another ten floors. The hooting and hollering is infectious.

Serene Sixteenth sports the namesake Torrey Pine

The fee for playing is almost reasonable.  As an out of state resident you can actually reserve a tee time over a month in advance.  They only take Visa and Mastercard for the green fees so don’t try and ply your Platinum Amex or you will be reaching back in your pocket for cash before you get on the course.

The golf shop at Torrey Pines is one to die for.  Just endless selections of everything you could want in clothing and accessories with their cool logo.  Best part is that the prices are unbelievably reasonable for everything.  This is the biggest golf store in La Jolla and they have it priced like a warehouse outlet to attract the minions.  There is also a nice food service option across the lawn at the back of the lodge-wood framed patio that overlooks the 18th green and the visual scenery beyond.  Great place for an after round snack.

The finishing hole has the only water and the largest green on the course

From the standpoint of design, this is not the most memorable golf course you will ever play, but it is a wonderful day of scenic views, perfect weather, and a fine golf challenge that you need to experience.  America needs more of these top line public golf venues that can brag that a major was played there and so did you.

La Jolla, California

Designers: William F. Bell (1957) and Rees Jones (2001)

Tees                     Par            Yardage          Rating        Slope

Blue                      72               7051               75.3           137

White                    72               6628               73.1           133

Gold                      72               6153               70.7           129

(Click to see complete Torrey Pines hole-by-hole descriptions)

Origins

Being Homo Sapiens, we all of us have an instinct to seize a stout stick and give an inanimate movable object a jolly good clout….  There is an element of menace in such an act, perhaps a practice run for the real thing of enforcing our will on defenseless rivals.  Yet as we became more sophisticated, we might have settled for a less lethal contest of strength, taking out our anger and fear on a more suitable sphere than an opponent’s head, indulging in what we now call ‘sport’.

Peter Thomson

Forward

Golf Through The Ages

Michael Flannery and Richard Leech (2004)

Laid A Stymie

I recently stumbled over the image of a scorecard from 1936 that had a curious thing printed on the bottom edge of the card. It was a six inch line with an arrow pointing away on each end and it said “stymie measure”. Scratching my head I could not recollect anything from memory that referred to a stymie measurement. To me a stymie was a condition in golf, before my appearance on this earth, when an opponent’s ball in a match play game stood between your ball and the hole and you simply had to play over or around it on your next shot. This chanced the possibility that you might knock their ball into the hole during that effort, effectively holing out for them.

Further research revealed that six inches was always an important incremental measurement when it came to a stymie in golf. The stymie was actually in the original 13 rules of golf drawn up in 1744 by the Honourable Company of Edinburgh Golfers. It said that the only time you could lift a ball after teeing off was if two balls were touching or you lifted it out of the hole. In 1775 the rule was amended, a ball obstructing your way that was within six inches of your ball could be marked and lifted. So a ball in your way had to be more than six inches from your ball to comprise a stymie condition. Thus the stymie measurement on the card.

From 1926 Copy of Rules of Golf (Found at http://www.leaderboard.com)

About 150 years later, in America where stroke play was the norm there was little tolerance for the penalty being laid a stymie could inflict on your scorecard. After unsuccessfully trying to convince the R & A in the 1930’s to abolish the stymie, the USGA in 1938 unilaterally altered it’s rules to allow any ball positioned within six inches of the hole to be marked and lifted if it interfered with another ball. Voila, a new use for the stymie measurement on the card.

Finally, in 1952, as a birthday present to the coming baby boomers, the R & A succumbed to the pressure and both ruling bodies eliminated the stymie entirely.

February, 2011